A reflection on Job 9:1-16 for Wednesday of the 26th Week in Ordinary Time.
Job looks at the mountains, the stars, and the sea, and knows he is dealing with someone far beyond him. God’s wisdom is greater than anything Job can measure. And yet Job wants to speak. He wants to ask why his life has become so difficult and whether God will listen to him.
I understand the feeling, though my questions are usually less grand. Why did the conversation I rehearsed so carefully go wrong in the first thirty seconds? Why does the kind thing seem so much harder than the sharp reply? And why, when I finally sit down to pray, do I remember six errands and the name of the woman I promised to call? I sometimes picture myself raising a hand before God and saying, “I have a few questions. Also, could we start with the one about patience?”
Job’s questions have more weight than mine. He is suffering, and he knows that he cannot argue God into giving him an answer. “Though I were right, I could not answer him,” he says. There is awe in those words, but also frustration. What do you do when the One you want to question holds the whole universe together?
It can be tempting to turn Job’s words into advice to stay quiet. God is great; we are small; end of discussion. But Job keeps speaking. He does not pretend that God’s power has made his pain easier to understand. His questions are part of his prayer.
That gives me some courage. I have spent enough years in church to know how to sound composed. I can say, “I’m trusting God,” while still wondering what He is doing. Sometimes that trust is real. Sometimes it is a sentence I hope will become real if I say it often enough. Job reminds me that I can bring the wondering into prayer, too.
Perhaps the size of God is what makes that possible. The One who moves mountains does not need me to protect Him from an honest question. I do not have to arrive with a polished argument or a suitably calm tone. I can begin where I am: grateful for what is good, confused about what is hard, and willing to listen even when I would greatly prefer an immediate explanation.
Job does not get an easy answer in these verses. I wish I could offer one for every question I have carried to prayer. For now, it helps to know that Scripture has room for a man who believes in God’s greatness and still wants to be heard. There is room for me to speak, too.
God, You know the questions I say aloud and the ones I keep to myself. Help me speak to You honestly, listen with an open heart, and trust that You hear me. Amen.
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