A reflection on on Titus 3:1–7 for Wednesday of the 32nd Week in Ordinary Time.
I know how to be patient with people who are making mistakes I’ve never made. People who repeat my own mistakes are more of a problem. You would think that my own past weakness would make me nicer to others in similar circumstances. Instead it makes me want to explain how they could avoid the whole business by just listening to me.
In today’s reading from Titus, the call to gentleness comes with an uncomfortable reminder: we, too, have been foolish, disobedient, and caught up in envy. I notice that he doesn’t invite us to supply examples from someone else’s life. I can come up with those, no problem.
Instead, I have to remember my own flaws.
There were years when I was sure I was right and anyone who had a different opinion was wrong. I gave parenting advice before I knew much about the family I was talking to. I judged choices without knowing what real options the person had. At the time, I would have described myself as concerned. That concern came with very little interest in understanding the other person.
Hopefully I have learned something since then. But when another person speaks too confidently or makes a poor decision or just pushes a button, I forget the growth I have experienced. I want them to get to the end point of wisdom much faster than I did.
Titus reminds me how God has treated us. We are saved through His mercy. That leaves less room to look down on someone who still has things to learn. I’m not perfect either.
I can still challenge harmful behavior. Sometimes a clear objection is appropriate. But I can do that without assuming that I know everything about their life experience.
The next time I feel ready to write someone off as hopeless, I can look back to a version of myself. I am grateful other people did not give up on me. A few names will probably come to mind. I owe those people my thanks.
God, keep me mindful of the mercy I have received. Help me be honest about harm and gentle with people who are still learning, including myself. Amen.