A reflection on Titus 2:1–8 for Tuesday of the 32nd Week in Ordinary Time.
When I hear this reading addressed to older women, I have a brief impulse to look around for them. Then I remember. Oh yeah. Paul means me.
I didn’t fill out an application for this position. I think it would be better to wait a little longer before anyone started looking to me for an example.
In today’s reading, Paul tells Titus that older women should live reverently, avoid slander, and teach what is good. He gets to how we live before he moves on to what we teach. No fair. I have advice ready to go. But my example might need a little work from time to time.
Younger women need to know they can bring their whole selves to God. They can pray when they are angry or embarrassed. They can go to confession without having perfectly polished words. But if I want them to believe that, I need to stop behaving as though I should have outgrown the need for mercy.
Being divorced, raising a son, and caring for my aging mother provides me plenty to think about. They help me remember how little I know about another woman’s life from the outside. Before I offer unsolicited advice, I ought to ask a loving question and leave enough time for her to answer it.
Then there is Paul’s warning about slander. If only he devoted more space to the importance of a good casserole. It is much easier to bring supper than to be the one to stop a gossip session.
What would a younger woman learn from watching me? Would she see me make an excuse to leave, change the subject, or settle in for the details?
I’ve been thinking of this stage of life as the time when I get to pass along my “wisdom”. Paul has me reconsidering. I can teach someone a prayer, for sure. But whether I listened to her, kept her confidence, and made her feel welcome when her life was messy might stay in her mind better. I would like to be an older woman she feels safe talking to.
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