A reflection on Luke 12:54–59 for Friday of the 29th Week in Ordinary Time.
Sometimes I can hear an argument coming while things still seem pleasant and civil. I hear a question with an emphasis which sets me on edge. An old complaint casually comes up. So I get my answer ready while the other person is still talking.
Later I wonder how things got so unpleasant. Well, Megan, there were signs.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells the crowd they know how to read the weather. They see clouds and expect rain; they feel the wind and expect heat. But they don’t see what is happening right in front of them. And then he encourages them to settle a dispute before it reaches the judge.
Jesus is recommending a response while there is still time to act. That’s hard for me, especially when making peace would require me to swallow a remark I thought was very clever at the time.
I can’t control another person’s temper or point of view. But I contribute to the argument in my own ways. I stop listening. My questions are really thinly disguised accusations. I bring up something from six months ago because today’s evidence doesn’t seem strong enough.
Those are signs I could do something about.
I could be open to the idea that the person didn’t express herself clearly instead of immediately deciding she meant the worst. I could apologize immediately when I use harsh words, while we are still talking. There is no rule requiring me to wait several hours to make sure she notices how upset I am.
Sometimes an important disagreement needs a real conversation. I may need to say plainly that I am hurting or that a decision is harmful. It would be nice if I could do that while I can still speak kindly. Waiting until I am thoroughly worked up has never improved my choice of words.
So I am asking the Lord to help me notice the moment when I begin reaching for the last word. By then, I may already have missed something the other person was trying to tell me. I can put my answer aside long enough to ask her to explain.